You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am available for nakedness
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
