i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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