Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dicks are not precious.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
