put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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