Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
