What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
