my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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