sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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