i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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