Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
that may or may not have been my penis.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
