Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize