I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
