guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
its not stalking. its research.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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