Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
