I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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