I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
