We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
