omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
