I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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