Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
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so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
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Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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