Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The uberlube is also flammable
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
