...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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