He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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