Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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