Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
where are my eyebrows?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
