Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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