there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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