Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
