I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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