I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
