My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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