Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
