fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize