so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
