I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
