i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
