I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
