Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
