well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
