I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
