I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
