Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
