its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
