cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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