Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
