It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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