She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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