This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
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I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize