before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
