the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
