she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
