new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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