the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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