he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
