Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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