We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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