He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
