do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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