I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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