She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My feet surprised me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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