before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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