At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
