When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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