she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Damn victory sex feels great
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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