i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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