You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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