I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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