Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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