...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
