OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
