doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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