Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
