he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize